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Mr. Nurse on Line #1

I work as a nurse for a pretty large hospital system.  Within the last year, I bid on and was accepted for a position in the Emergency Department.  My boss, the head nurse, is a real piece of work.  Or maybe instead of saying he’s a piece of work, I should say that he’s a player on the prowl for a piece of meat.

For example, his favorite thing to do is try to pick up female patients.  He targets the ones he determines to be single or who he thinks are single.  I’ve seen him get pretty good with his patient questioning as he tries to extract personal relationship information from the female patients.  Some would say he has major ‘game,’ I will give him that.  After he engages them, it becomes the silly and sick game/challenge of him trying to see if he can get the female patient to express interest.

Recently though, his behavior has gotten a little more erratic.  Instead of the usual patient-badgering to find out if the females are single, his new method is a little more sly.  I say sly, because he knows what he’s doing and doesn’t want to get caught.  So he hasn’t been nagging them as much while they are in the Emergency Room.  Instead he writes down their their names and later checks to see if they are on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.  Or he will just go in and take their phone number from their meidcal records.  Then he will message them.  The crazy thing is that he’s stupid enough to e-mail and text them…and put it in writing.  I say ‘stupid’ because what he’s doing isn’t only inappropriate, but it’s unethical too.

I’ve heard through the grapevine that one young woman has apparently complained to the hospital about the fact that he kept sending her messages on Facebook and asking her out.  But has the hospital done anything?  Of course not!  He’s still working on the floor with the rest of us.  That’s fine…I’m documenting everything I see and am looking forward to the chance to share the stories…particularly the one when he and the cute EMT girl disappeared into the supply closet for a few hours!

Submitted by Nurse N

Pizza Degenerate

I work at a family owned pizza shop.  The guy who owns it is a gigantic pervert.  It’s a college town, so he likes to hire all young girls.  Needless to say, his wife, who I would describe as the most jealous person I’ve ever met, doesn’t take this very well.

Thus, a normal day in our little shop can be very interesting and entertaining.  The owner will show up and call various female employees to the back of the shop or to the office.  He will make dumb excuses about inventory and try to get us alone in the office, cooler or the stock room.  It always has to be in close quarters so he’s right next to us.  He will practically stand on top of you.  It’s very uncomfortable.  He stares at us up and down, practically licking his lips like we are pieces of meat.  It has gotten to the point where the girls now try to pair up at all times, as to avoid him or not have to talk to him alone.

Now enter his wife into the situation.  If she so much as sees him flirting with us, she freaks out yelling and screaming.  Of course she yells at us and not him.  I personally have been fired by her three times for various reasons, all because she caught hubby talking to me.  Here’s the routine – she fires me and I go home.  Then when I don’t show up for my shift the next day, she calls and yells at me for that.  So then I come back in.  I guess ‘you’re fired’ doesn’t quite have the meaning it used to.

Submitted by Anonymous

Hard Sleeper

I work in a job where I have to travel all the time.  I’m literally on the road three weeks out of four every month.  It’s not a bad job and I love the hotel/airline/credit card rewards.  I fashion myself as a traveler similar to George Clooney in ‘Up in the Air.’

My boss is not a bad guy, but he is a little strange to travel with.  Luckily, I only have him on trips every few months.  But when I know he’s going, it’s like I go through an ‘experience’ just mentally preparing for what is about to occur.  He is a maniac when we travel.  He wants to drink and party all night long – and we are talking about a trip lasting five-days.  I don’t mind going out or staying out late here and there, but I’m in no condition to do it three or four nights in a row.  My boss isn’t married or anything, so it’s not like he’s acting out because he’s away from home.  He just seems to make dumb decisions when he’s not with his boss.

Take our last trip, for example.  He got so drunk that he passed out at the hotel.  When he woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, he walked right out of his hotel room and into the hallway.  He got locked out.  Apparently, he then peed in the hallway and then forgot which room he was in.  So he laid down and slept on the floor in front of one of the doors.  Amazingly, no hotel staff saw this, but he said it did make for an awkward conversation when a lady tried to leave her hotel room in the morning and he was sleeping on the floor in front of it.

Submitted by Jeff

His Wife Wears the Pants

I’ve had issues at previous jobs where my bosses hit on me.  As any woman can appreciate, depending on the guy and his aggressiveness, it can get very annoying.  Plus, when it’s your boss, it makes it even more uncomfortable.

Not too long ago, I started a new job.  Typical sitaution…horny boss looking at me, sizing me up and down, staring at my chest and acting very flirtatious.  For anyone reading this, I want to be clear that I never encourage this behavior and I don’t have a problem shutting it down.  This boss has been a little more persistent though.  It started out where he would text me very late at night with work questions (I suspect he was just seeing if I was awake and if I would respond).  Then the texts started to become a little more personal, almost like Q&A style.  I have not engaged him, but he kept sending messages and asking questions.  Eventually, the questions became sexual in nature, so I told him to stop.  He said he would, but didn’t.

As it turned out, the boss was going through some marital troubles and had been talking about separating from his wife.  So she got nosy and decided to go through is cell phone and read his texts.  She saw all of his texts to me.  Now, I could argue that she should be mad at him, because he was the aggressor and I wasn’t responding.  But no, she was upset at me.  Typical married couple drama..he strays and she doesn’t get mad at him.  So what did she do – his wife came to our office and started screaming in the lobby about me and that her husband was in love with me.  She then demanded to see the President of the company and asked for me to be fired.  Of course the President had no idea what was going on and appeared to be mortified by this woman’s temper tantrum in the lobby.

The funny thing is that I thought I’d have all the leverage here and that they’d fire the boss.  Nope.  They fired me.  So now I’m out of a job the of course the boss still texts me his dirty thoughts every day.  My solution – I’m going to mail a copy of all of his texts to his wife.

Submitted by Ang

Her Life Story

My boss is the kind of person who will tell you her entire life story in the first five minutes that you meet her.  Literally.  Based on the industry we work in, we are out and about a lot; and it’s mortifying when she starts in on her ‘story.’

Imagine this.  You meet her…you introduce yourself…you say where you work.  Pretty innocent enough, right?  Seems like it.  But what you get in return is something to the extent of:

How long she’s been at the company.  How long she has been sober.  What type of drinking and drugs she did.  Who her AA sponsor is.  Where her AA Meetings are.  How long her husband mistreated her for.  What her husband did to her.  What her husband said to her.  How long they have been divorced.  All in the first five minutes…I kid you not.

Of course, I always want to be supportive of someone who is a recovering addict.  However, I really don’t care to hear this story every day to new people she meets.  I don’t drink and do drugs and never have, so maybe it’s that I don’t get the recovery and ‘staying clean’ thing, but it still seems weird that she tells everyone this and in the first few minutes of introducing herself.  To me, that’s awkward and I substantiate that statement by the weird looks and facial expressions I see with the people talking to her.

Submitted by Anonymous

I Love You More

My boss is a very unique lady.  She’s very eccentric, especially when it comes to the relationship she has with her husband.  For example, they have to talk on the phone at least once every hour throughout the day.  Sometimes it’s multiple times every hour.  Interestingly, that doesn’t even include her constant texting and e-mailing to him in between phone calls.  But for the purposes of this story, let’s stick to her phone calls.

So yes, at least once per hour, they talk on the phone.  She’s so loud and obnoxious that I can hear everything.  It doesn’t help that our desks are right next to each.  Anyway, here is how the normal phone call ends – ever single time:

Him: I love you!
Her: I love you more!

Him: I love you more!
Her: No, I love you more!

Him: No, I love you more!
Her, NO, I love you more!

It’s ridiculous and stupid.  And it happens every hour when they talk.  I routinely feel like I’m going to throw-up a little in my mouth when I have to sit there and listen to it.  Other times the conversation will include at least three back-and-forths about how much they miss each other or can’t wait to see each other at home.

So is it me, or are her actions weird?  I’m all for loving on and missing my husband, but I don’t need to profess it loudly and throughout the day for all to see and hear. I sense some underlying trust issues with them, because she told me that he once cheated on her with someone at his work.  Apparently the resolution must have included massive PDA!  I say get a room and keep it at home.

Submitted by Anonymous

 

Please Hire Her

The President of my company insists on hiring women for every position that comes open.  However, it’s not only that…as someone who works closely with him, I have to listen to everything else that goes along with his perverted hiring decisions.

So, it’s not only that we can’t hire men, but it’s that all the women need to be ‘hot.’  He says he wants all of them to be a ‘perfect ten.’  He’ll make comments about how ‘gorgeous’ they are and say, ‘whoever married her married up.’  Frankly, it’s stupid and sickening.  He’s such a pig…a pig with a staff full of ‘smoking hot women’ as he’ll tell you.

Whenever an interview is scheduled, he will peek out into the lobby to determine (on his scale) how pretty the candidate is.  Then he’ll advise the hiring manager accordingly.  He will actually dictate hiring and business decisions based on his ‘hotness’ scale.  He will even tell the hiring manager ‘only hot women’ when he sees a non-attractive candidate.

After they get hired, the same thing happens with each one.  He walks around like he is on cloud nine and does no work.  He just floats from desk to desk shooting the breeze with all of them.  He’ll set his coffee on their desk and smugly laugh at their stories.  He thinks and acts like he’s Mr. GQ.  The sad park is that they all think he hired them for their cunning business skills.  Too bad all he’s doing is undressing them with his mind while he talks to them.

Submitted by Mon

Was I Here Last Night

My boss is the Controller of our company.  He’s a little quirky, but overall, is not a bad guy.  Once in a while, we have to travel together.  Whenever we travel, my boss has his routine.  It’s always the exact same thing.  Go to meetings, then find a bar to play billiards at, then drink a few beers and then go to dinner.  It’s been that way for as long as I’ve known him.  However, I really don’t mind the ‘routine.’  He’s a nice guy and is pretty interesting to talk to.

This last trip, I was very sick.  Frankly, I didn’t even want to travel, but I had to, based on the importance of our meeting.  So, of course, we went to the meeting and then to play billiards.  I was feeling more and more miserable, so I told him I didn’t want to go out for beers or dinner.  He was driving me crazy to go out, but I finally told him I just couldn’t do it and went to bed.

About three o’clock in the morning, I heard him come down the hallway of the hotel.  He was falling all over the place and screaming.  He was making so much noise and slamming the other doors while trying to get into his room.  I knew at that point that he had a long night.  The next evening we went through the normal routine and he said he had heard about a nice place that we should try for dinner.  So we went there.  As soon as we walked in, the hostess looked at my boss, called him by name and said, “Hey there!  We were worried about you.”  My boss looked confused and said, “Do I know you?”  She said, “Yes, you were here last night.  You were so drunk that we hoped you got back to your hotel ok.”  She went on to tell him the name of his wife, what he did for work, etc.  He was apparently so wasted that he told this lady his entire life story.  The saddest part is that he was so drunk that he didn’t even remember going there.  We also learned that he had gone to the strip club before dinner too, which he didn’t recall at all.  Not good.

Submitted by Lee

The Business Card Heard Around the World

I’ve always enjoyed the part of the movie ‘The Social Network‘ where Mark Zuckerberg’s character gets business cards that say, “I’m CEO, bitch.”  I love the fact that it’s a true, albeit short-lived, story.

At our company, several of us actually created new business cards for our President.  However, he doesn’t know they exist because they aren’t meant to compliment him.  We produced some that say his name, his title and, “Ruined the company and people’s lives, and still has no cares in the world.”

I guess they don’t quite have the power of Zuckerberg’s, but the fact that all of us get a laugh every single day at his expense makes coming to work  a treat.

Submitted by Anonymous

Raise Raise Go Away

The company I work for has not given raises since 2004.  As much as I hate that fact and the company, I continue to work there.  People always ask me why.  The real answer is proabably because I’m stupid.  The better answer is because it’s so ridiculous there, that I stick around to see what type of craziness happens next.  It’s true.  Stories, scandals, bad decisions, affairs, inappropriate behavior, unauthorized expenses…you name it and it’s currentlg going on or has happened there.  Every week it is something different and just when the employees think it cannot get any more ridiculous, it does.  Just when that last moronic decision can’t be topped, it is.

The main reason it’s going on there is because the boss is involved in most of it.  That’s a shame.  But hey, the he still has his large bonuses, expense accounts and super-salary.  So I guess he’ll be ok when the doors shut and the rest of us lose our jobs.

Submitted by M