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    Call the Help Line

    My boss is a know-it-all, especially when it comes to sports.  As a result of this, the rest of us always have to hear about his sports’ gambling.

    He has a habit; there is no doubt about it.  He bets on all of the major sports pretty frequently.  From what he says, he does pretty well and wins…but doesn’t everyone who brags about it?  Or maybe that’s just what he wants us to think.  We also hear about all the bets he should have made and how he knew they were going to be winners (that is probably his way of saying he lost without actually having to admit it).  He even brags that his bookie pays him via overnight mail, like Greg from Boiler Room.  Actually, it’s a common joke around the office (for those of you that have seen some gambling movies), that he perceives himself to be Worm from Rounders or Ace from Casino.

    If we all go out to lunch, he will repeatedly cite Vegas odds and gambling lines.  I get tired of hearing who the favorite is and what the odds are.  That’s all he wants to talk about.  Most of us don’t even care.  I have tried talking sports to him on occasion, but it’s difficult because he’s a know-it-all.

    Someone recently had the guts to ask him if his wife knows what he does.  She doesn’t.  After that, even though it isn’t my business, I felt that enough was enough.  I had some Gambling Problem flyers sent to his house and office.  He’s the kind of guy who would fire me if he found out it was me, so I’m not sure if I’ll do anything else.  But I also stopped going to lunch as frequently.  I just hope at some point he will get help before it ruins his family and/or his marriage.

    Submitted by O

     

    Toilet Malfunction

    I hope you’ll consider publishing my story.  My boss seems like an OK guy, although I’m not always sure what exactly he does every day.  We work in sales. My job is to source the leads and start to build relationships with the potential clients.  Then I’m supposed to get my boss involved when an appointment is set, and he becomes the deal closer.  But he really doesn’t close anything.  He goes to meetings and sits there with me.  But I’m the one closing.  I work the deals and then close them.  He sits there and tries to look important.  Yet, of course he gets compensated quite handsomely for anything we sell.  He makes a higher salary and even more commission than me.

    Before you say it, yes, I know how the world works and what they always say….money runs uphill and shit runs downhill.  I know my place.  I sell, earn my living and make him look good (and earn him money) in the process.  But that doesn’t mean that I have to like it.

    However, lately, the situation with him not doing anything is really starting to tick me off.  So I decided to act out a little, as some might say.  And I purposefully decided to be as juvenile as possible in the process.  This is what I did:

    The other night, I was sitting there stewing about all the money I’ve made him over the years and I just lost it.  So after he left for the day, I went into his nice office, where he has his own private bathroom.  I put saran wrap on to cover the bowl under the toilet seat.  Then I loosened all the bolts that mounted the toilet to the floor.  I have no idea why this was what came to mind, but figured it might be entertaining.

    The next day he went into his bathroom and sat on the toilet.  I wasn’t in the office that day, but heard he peed all over himself, then toilet fell over and so did he.  Apparently people him calling for help from his office.  The best part of all of this…he has someone in mind who he thinks did it, and it isn’t me.  Even better…he put me in charge of office undercover work to find out who did it.  Too bad I’ll make sure the investigation keeps going on indefinitely.

    Submitted by Smith

    Office Jail

    Everyone at our company calls the main office ‘jail,’ because that’s how the gentleman who is in charge runs it.  Let me give you a few examples.

    If you are gone more than 30 minutes for lunch, he accuses you of being on an interview.  He periodically walks the entire office and if you are not at your desk when he walks by, he will call you down and ask you if you have enough work to do.  He makes comments that he wants you to work so hard that you leave everyday with a headache.  Usually I do leave with a headache, but it’s because of him.  Even though he’s not allowed to do this, he asks detailed health questions about why you have to leave the office if you say you have a doctor’s appointment.

    This is the only place I’ve worked where people are literally scared to leave on time.  Even if you are at your desk at 8 and leave at 5, he will talk behind your back to your co-workers, insinuate that you aren’t putting in enough hours and say he’s pondering if your job is still needed.  You aren’t allowed to go to any seminars outside of the office.  And if you absolutely have to do it, you have to provide him with a written report on the event by the end of the same day.  It’s the silliest thing I have ever seen.  Oh, and don’t even think about calling in sick or taking a vacation day.  Particularly with the vacation time, he will purposefully send you e-mail after e-mail while you’re out of the office.  Plain and simply, he wants to ruin your vacation time and make you worry about work.

    Yes, I look forward to telling this guy to shove it when I get a new job.

    Submitted by Tammy

     

     

    Sicky

    My boss called in sick 72 times last year.  How is that even allowed to happen?  For the record, he wasn’t even disciplined to my knowledge and he only had 10 days of sick time available.

    We don’t work for a mom and pop shop.  We are a reasonable sized company with descent revenue.  But nobody is held accountable because the company is doing well.  It’s the dumb stuff like this which is allowed to go on that will cause our company to never reach the next level.

    This moron is absent at least once per week and the Executives don’t even challenge him on it.  It’s out of sight, out of mind.  So I say they are part of the problem.  Cough, cough, I think I’m getting sick now too…

    Submitted by A.B.

    Sleepy the Boss

    My boss takes a nap in his office every single day at 2 o’clock in the afternoon.  You can literally mark your watch by it.  We work for a very large company, so it’s not like the office space is empty.  There are quite a few people who work on his floor.  But he doesn’t care.  He has the same routine every singe day. He goes to lunch, comes back, attempts to work and nods off exactly at 2.

    It’s common knowledge that he does this.  Why he hasn’t been fired is surprising.  My favorite is when he moves his nap location from the desk chair to the couch in his office.  His assistant will tell you that he’s ‘busy’ at the moment.  The last time she said that, I looked in his office and literally saw him drooling all over himself while laying on his couch.

    Employees around the office have decided to start taking pictures of this behavior.  Surely management knows what he’s doing, but they don’t care.  The employees are talking about starting a web site featuring this guy.  Maybe the bosses will care if the pictures end up on social media.

    Submitted by Al

    Freezer Fun

    I like your site.  My friend told me about it and, as it turns out, it is the perfect forum to share this story.  I work in a restaurant.  Our restaurant has really high turnover, so new employees are always coming and going.  I’m not looking for anything more than a steady job that pays OK, so I’ve been there for a few years and don’t mind the work.

    There are two managers there that I really like working with.  Both are younger and seem motivated, so they do a pretty good job and make the work hours go by fast.  I’ve never found them to act inappropriate or break the rules.

    So a few weeks ago, I showed up for my shift and noticed that neither the male or female manager I liked was there.  In fact, a manager from another location was there filling in.  I asked where the other two managers were and he told me they had both been fired.  And here’s the kicker – they were fired because it was found out that they had been regularly having sex together in the freezer after the store closed.  I’m puzzled by this!  I mean; go get a hotel room.  The freezer of a restaurant!  I guess there was more going on in there than frozen food.  If only the freezer shelves could talk.

    Submitted by J.

    Cross Hairs

    My boss is a colossal jerk.  He’s honestly the most ridiculous person I’ve ever had to work for.  He is toxic.  Nothing makes his day more than bringing someone into his office, bullying them, yelling at them and making them uncomfortable.  He wants to see you squirm.  It’s like he physically takes pleasure in it.  He’ll bring you in, lambaste you and then you walk out of his office wondering what the hell just happened.

    However, his paranoia will get the best of him after you leave his office.  He will over-analyze everything and come in to apologize.  His usual mantra is to come in, apologize and use the phrase, “Sorry that you were in my cross hairs today.”  Then he will promise to act better in the future.  Sometimes he is even worse the next day.  Then he’ll come in, make the cross hair statement again and apologize for being a ‘bear’ or another animal.  Frankly, some might say this is abuse.

    The way I see it is this – I’m all for working hard, being held accountable and having thick skin; but for employees to walk around and be scared of a boss is just plain silly.  People at the office spend hours wasting time deciding how to word e-mails and present information just to make sure this guy won’t flip out.  Not good business.  Not good for office turnover either.

    Submitted by M.S.

    Cash Flow

    My boss is probably one of the most worthless human beings in the world.  He doesn’t care about much.  We work for a huge globally known company and he earns $700,000 per year.  He’s been there for years.  The simple fact that he earns that much money for not doing anything makes me physically sick.  He’s MIA most of the time and nobody can locate him or knows where he is.  When he isn’t MIA, he is golfing or, as he puts it, ‘out in the field.’

    I realized quite long ago that not many people seemed to care what my boss did.  His boss apparently didn’t.  There were never questions about where he was or when he’d be in.  I ultimately came to the conclusion that he was playing golf most of the time and sitting at home doing nothing the rest.  How it went under the radar for so long I guess is just part of working for such a large company with so many moving parts.  It became laughable to the rest of us in the office how this guy could get away with it and not get caught.

    Fast forward nine years that this crap has been going on.  Now our company is failing, most likely contributed to by this moron and others like him.  So they are finally making changes.  The first change will blow your mind.  My boss was demoted.  He lost 3/4 of the facilities that he was in charge of.  And his salary was reduced from $700,000 to $200,000 per year.  The funniest part is this happened without any notice whatsoever.  Now he sits in his office (at least he’s showing up) and cries at his desk every day.  Maybe it sounds mean, but I say ‘good!’  Karma is a bitch.

    Submitted by L.

    Big Spender

    My boss called me into his office a few weeks ago and said that he had the company tickets to a MLB baseball game.  They were tickets in a suite!

    I consider myself a peon and I never see the corporate tickets.  My boss had never been given them either.  So needless to say, we were both pretty excited.  He was also going to be the one in charge of the suite that night, so that made me feel like even more of a rockstar.

    When we got there, we did the necessary amount of schmoozing, and then we got ready for the game to start.  My boss ordered some food and drinks, which quickly disappeared when it arrived.  So he ordered some more.  In hindsight, I probably should have realized that the amount of food and drink that he was ordering was problematic.  But as I reached my 6th beer, frankly, I really didn’t care.  In all honesty, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen that much food and drink consumed at a small corporate function.  He repeatedly ordered food and more food.  Apparently after I stopped worrying about it, he even ordered kegs of beer (I didn’t realize you can even do that in a suite).

    As you can imagine, the boss was in extreme hot water the next day at work.  Not only was he hungover, but he was informed that he spent two month’s worth of the entertainment budget in one night.  Needless to say, a memo from higher up came out and the policy has now been changed regarding how events in the suite are ‘hosted.’  Not sure I’ll get an invite back any time soon either.  Damn.

    Submitted by Anonymous

    Reply To All

    Fun site.  Made me want to share a story about my last boss.  I work for a pretty big company.  I won’t share the name, but definitely a brand you’d recognize.

    While most people I know complain about the lack of communication at their jobs, my company actually over-does it.  There are memos and notes going out all the time.  The President says he wants people to know everything, which isn’t a bad thing, I guess.  But sometimes the e-mails can get a little lame.

    A few weeks ago, there had been a number of all staff e-mails that went out the same day.  My boss started making fun of them and saying how ‘stupid’ they were.  Later that day, another message came out talking about a lady who had resigned from the company.  The President was wishing her well, as she was a very long-time employee.

    My boss, tired of all the e-mails, went to forward the message to me and a few other people.  He said, “We should congratulate her on leaving because this company is ridiculous and nobody likes working here anymore because the management has their heads up their butts.”  However, instead of forwarding the message, he accidentally hit ‘Reply to All’ with his e-mail.  So that message went to everyone in the company.  Thousands of people!

    I heard my boss’ phone ring a few minutes later and he shut his office door.  About ten minutes later, he sent an e-mail which started out, “I regret the e-mail I sent moments ago and apologize for its contents…”  He was fired the next day!

    Submitted by Anonymous